Name: Brandi
17. S E N I O R, pothead, slutty dancer, I can eat Tacos hella fast, and I live 10 min away from San Francisco..so yeah, life is good :)

 

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

thegreatjustine:

oscamayrreener:

brokeymcpoverty:

thefuckshitmagnet:

doncheftw:

satchelpage97:

Because I love my tumblr family…

You a fool…lol

OH. MY. GAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!! Y’ALL WATCH THIS!!! WATCH THIS! WATCH THIS!!!

beautiful.

The fact that it’s on beat tho

😂😂😂

me during an exam: lol imma ace dis bitch

me during an exam: the fuck did you just say

me during an exam: alright focus

me during an exam: pffffttt i got this

me during an exam: I'M A GENIUS

me during an exam: whats 5 x 8

me during an exam: lol fuck this

me during an exam: be our guest be our guest be our guest put our service to the test

me during an exam: oh exam right

me during an exam: yeah hear me flip that page

me during an exam: i am better than all of you

me during an exam: peasants

me during an exam: what if everyone can read minds except me

me during an exam: i bet theyre all thinking to each other 'dont tell her you can read minds'

me during an exam: cough if you can hear me

me during an exam: COUGH IF YOU CAN HEAR ME

me during an exam: was i doing something

me during an exam: right test okay

me during an exam: lol i bet i can finish before this bitch

me during an exam: did we learn this

me during an exam: stop breathing so loud

me during an exam: is that really necessary

me during an exam: wow that post on tumblr last night is suddenly the funniest thing i have ever seen

me during an exam: i will kill all of you

me during an exam: crap I need to sneeze

dedicationtocurves:


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dedicationtocurves:

10knotes:

i read this whole thing in an elderly asian mans voice
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

10knotes:

i read this whole thing in an elderly asian mans voice

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

dedicationtocurves:

sandysmind:

How I eat my favorite fries 

its just fries in general , u can catch me dancing

Brazilian model Alexandre Cunha was paired with a three-year-old moptop to showcase Smalto’s matching child-sized and adult tuxedos. Unfortunately, while the pressure of performing didn’t faze the buff Brazilian, his partner broke down in tears as they were striding the catwalk:

Once, I was supposed to close a show with a 3-year-old kid and we both had matching outfits. During rehearsal, everything went as planned, but on the day of the show he started crying halfway down the runway, so in my head I thought, “What am I supposed to do?!” I ended up picking him up and I carried him to the end of the runway.

(Source: greyships)